[The house lights dim, and a distinguished looking professor-type
comes on stage, puts his notes on the podium, and looks out at the
Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. I'm Doctor Ken Parker, of the
Department of Paranormal Studies at Montcalm College. But I guess
you know that, you wouldn't be here otherwise, would you?
[The audience laughs.]
I have spent a number of years studying Magic and the Paranormal,
and I am convinced that Magic exists and is all around us. After a
while I decided that I ought to present this information to the
public, and I went to work developing a TV show about this. Let me
ask, have any of you seen the show "Ghosties?"
[He pauses, counts a small number of raised hands.]
Not too many of you. Fortunately! It's awful, isn't it? Well, I
hate to admit it, but I was responsible for "Ghosties." My original
idea was to do a serious show, perhaps for PBS. Then a group of
network producers--I'm sure you can figure out which network--got
wind of it and bought the rights for an outrageous sum of money. I
figured out later that a bunch of warlocks was behind it, even
that network wouldn't have spent so much money without an
evil influence working on them. The network completely changed the
show, coming up with "Ghosties." My boss at the college said it was
totally embarrassing and used it as an excuse to kick me out ...
fortunately we got that sorted out eventually.
I went off on a road trip and ended up in what was then called
Groverton, a town filled with magic and magic users. There were
witches and warlocks. The witches were almost all women, most of
them good. In fact, I'd like to introduce you to one of the nicest
witches I know, my wife Jinny.
[He gestures, and a cute redhead in the front row stands, turns to
face the audience, and waves.]
She was the one who convinced me to stop denying the evidence and
admit that I was a witch, too, one of the very rare male witches.
Just about the time I got there, the warlocks in town, all evil,
were gearing up for a big battle. They planned to resurrect the
ghost of Mordecai Grover, a warlock who had been killed there eighty
or so years earlier ...
[He pauses and looks down at Jinny, who is pointing to her watch.]
Sorry, I'm running out of time here. I'd love to tell you the full
story, but I guess you'll have to read the book, "The Ghost of
Grover's Ridge" by James Hartley. I helped him write it, and I'm
sure you'll enjoy it. Good night, everyone.
[He picks up his notes and walks off stage, waving to the audience.
Jinny gets up and heads for the stage door. The house lights come up.]