Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The King Sends His Regards

Michael Patriate here.

Joe said you had questions about my experience as the protagonist of his historical novel, The King of Silk.

You want to know the thing I miss most living in the 15th century? Coffee. Cigarettes I've almost gotten over craving every day, but it's criminal how that author of mine stuck me in a place where I have to get going every stinking morning without a proper dose of caffeine. Put me here a hundred years later and I'd be sipping on a cup while quilling this missive. Ah, well. If he had I would have missed a few of the treats he threw my way.

I hate to admit it, but when I first landed here in a God-forsaken Italian pasture I could only panic. One night I was out strolling through Manhattan, celebrating my success in the financial world. Then I came to in the middle of nowhere, and it just got worse.

Without a cell phone to call for help, I set out walking and found this country so backward that, well, you'll just have to read the book for the whole scoop.

Anyway, I've made myself right at home. These Venetians really understand business, and they're so serious about it. It's taken me awhile, but I'm back on top, or at least I can see the top of the ladder. And with my advantage of future knowledge, there will be no stopping me. I've even found a really nice lady to spend time with.

I suspect Joe Douglas has some obstacles planned for me, but I'm confident in my abilities. Feel free to visit and see how it turns out. And bring coffee.

Regards,

Michael Patriate
Caorle, Veneto, Italy (1492)
http://www.facebook.com/michael.patriate

The King of Silk by Joe Douglas Trent, Historical Fiction, Coming February 2011

14 comments:

Lea said...

What kind of coffee? And wow, Joe seems to have pit you in a real dilemma. Nice to see he's given you a woman to pursue, however.

Here's wishing you success in your predicament and wishing Joe tons of success with your story.

chastitybush said...

No coffee?! Oh, you poor thing!
I was a pleasure to meet you Michael and I hope you get that coffee soon!

Michael said...

Lea:

Knowing how these Italians are going to love their coffee in a few hundred years, ten pounds of the cheap stuff might make me rich. So if you can twist Joe's arm to write some in I would appreciate it.

In the meantime maybe I can learn to like hot tea instead.

Chastity:

Thanks for the note! You know, I miss talking about modern topics. How about having one of your characters send me a line about what's going on?

Thanks all,

Michael Patriate
Caorle, Veneto, Italy (1492)
http://www.facebook.com/michael.patriate

Lin said...

Man what a culture shock! For me the coffee wouldn't be what I'd miss...somehow I never got addicted to that...my caffeine of choice though is probably more expensive since it's Diet Pepsi and I don't think ancient Italy had any of that floating around in any of their palazzos.

No cell phones? Well since I hate my landline and haven't figured out how to program my cell phone's volume let alone anything else, I doubt I'd miss that, but I'm pretty sure you guys back there don't have access to bug zappers and since my charming adult daughter, who lives with me, is a bug-a-phobe of monumental proportions, I could not exist without RAID and my industrial sized bug zapper. So I'll just visit you from here, as in from afar!

I'll be following your adventures and seeing if your intrepid author can't figure some traveling spell here in the future to return you to the wonders of caffeine and cellular texting. But in the meatime, best of luck.

Ginger Simpson said...

Oh, I definitely would not be good without coffee and my Vanilla Creamer. There are so many things I couldn't exist without...or wouldn't want to...like my blow dryer and curling irons. I can see my dilemma being stuck in 1492 might present totally different issues. Great post, by the way. Makes us stop and think.

Lea said...

I believe the only thing I'd miss is my laptop and internet. :(

Emily Pikkasso said...

Greetings Michael! My author knows your author, so you're kind of family. Your adventure sounds intriguing, perhaps we could meet for coffee sometime, you choose the time period, I'm an Oak Princess so I can meet you "when" ever you like. Cool picture, I like a man that can wear a hat well.
Kisses- Dara, the Oak King's Daughter

Emily Pikkasso said...

I am so sorry, Michael! Emily got loose and let Dara use the keyboard again!

I will talk to Joe and see if we can time travel you some smokes and coffee. No promises.

It was nice to talk with you. Dara is right, the head gear suits you.

Nancy

Michael said...

Like my hat? I found it at a booth at the Rialto market along the Grand Canal. It reminded me of a hat my grandmother's idol, Xavier Cugat (hence my middle name), wore on an old album cover.

Dara, let me know when you're headed this way so I can prepare Cecile. She gets a bit testy when she thinks she's being threatened. I might have to duck another plate or something. :-)

Michael

Cheryl said...

No coffee is fine by me, Michael. I've always been a tea totaler. Sleeping on a straw tick, or whatever else they had back then, wouldn't work however. I like a comfortable, bug-free sleeping place.

Cheryl

Erika Gilbert said...

Hi Michael, do you miss television or is there enough drama in your life already? And who is this mystery woman?

Michael said...

I don't miss television much, except that news travels so slowly here. It'll take weeks for accounts of a battle to filter across Europe, and then you still might not have a clear idea of what really happened. No telling when news of Columbus' big discovery will hit.

And, man, Cecile's going to kill me for not mentioning her sooner. She's my landlady. When I met her I was still wearing rags I got from the traveling salesman who rescued me. That she even allowed me in the place was amazing enough.

We don't have an official thing going, but I have a feeling that something's up. It's sure going to complicate things if I decide I need to move on. Relationships can complicate life sometimes. Oh, well.

Thanks for dropping by!

Michael

Rebecca Ryals Russell said...

I couldn't live without my laptop, either. Coffee I can give or take, but not my Internet.

Chrystalla said...

I'd die without coffee and my cell phone so I can't wait to read about how you managed to survive!