Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Santa Is a Lady
Hello Everyone and thank you for inviting me to talk here on Muse It Up Publishing's Blog.
My name is Angie Brightwell, but a lot of you already know me as Angela Brightwell.
Yep, I'm that Angela Brightwell, the tenaciously reclusive Best Selling Mystery Writer or at least I was the tenaciously reclusive mystery writer until I got caught up in this mess.
I live in the mountains just north of the famous Christmas Winter Wonderland, Northeringale, the very same Northeringale you all make the traditional holiday pilgrimage to every year.
All was well in my world until Northeringale's Santa was arrested five days before Christmas for being a slimy SOB who had child pornography on his computer. Can you imagine anything sleazier? Well, of course you can; the investigation into Sleazy Santa is, of course, ongoing.
My best friend, Beck Cavington, owns and operates the popular confections store Sweets and Treats on Northeringale's Main Street. Actually, it's Northeringale's only street. Any of the other streets are offshoots, and aren't really counted.
Back to Beck, she hired the disgraced scumbag and he's been sitting on her Santa Throne, inside her store, listening to the Christmas wishes of the eager children hoisted onto his lap since Black Friday, and getting pictures taken with them, to boot; as part of the Santa gig. All of this on Beck's dime. I mean that is just so much yuck! I'm going to need a shower just telling you about it.
Beck doesn't do panic very well. Her S-O-S calls out to all the Santa Colleges...(and can you imagine there actually being such universities?)...were unsuccessful. All the professional Santas are already out there knee deep in their "Jolly Old Elf" duties long before December 20th.
Which is why I found a very panicked and outlandish Beck knocking on my mountain hideaway door, and no, I'm not telling you which offshoot I live on. There are just some secrets this mystery writer has to keep.
Beck and I have been friends since we were in grade school, but that didn't stop her from latching on to this harebrained idea that I, Angie Brightwell, all 5'5" of me, all 110 pounds, soaking wet of me, should slip into the Big Man's red suit and leave my contented seclusion for the final crunch days before Christmas.
I tried to point out to her that my child-like voice is going to have my "Ho-ho-ho's" coming out sounding more like "He-he-he's", but old friends know which buttons to push to lay on the most guilt, and make it nigh on impossible to say no, with too much conviction.
However, this has Disaster written all over it, but honestly L.J., Julian Harper? You had to make my personal disaster be Julian Harper?
Okay, I'm hyperventilating here, but then thinking about Julian Harper will do that to just about anyone who lives within 100 miles of Northeringale.
Back to my story; I'd rather be home, working on my next murder mystery, instead I'm stepping into an itchy red suit, whiskers held onto my normally hairless face by some concoction Beck comes up with that I fear may have Krazy Glue as its base ingredient, and a terrible fear my voice is going to give away our deception before I utter my first "he-he-he."
Of course you're gonna love little Johara Drayton this delightful cherub who has the dishiest father I have ever seen in my entire life. This is bad, I'm drooling again. Mystery writers are not supposed to drool, but Oh God, Cameron Drayton could make the Rock of Gibralter drool.
And as for our diabolical author L.J. Holmes, what a cruel, cruel predicament you have placed us all in. All I have to say is you'd better give us a happy ending, L.J. since I'm making a list and checking it twice!
You can find out what happens to all of us on December 1st when my story Santa is a Lady is released right here at Muse It Up Publishing, but I have a feeling, knowing L.J. she's going to be popping in here from time to time dropping little hints about my stint in the Big Man's suit between now and then. Did I remember to call her diabolical?
Oh and before I forget, my story is the first in L.J.s' Christmas Miracles series, so maybe she's got something good up her muse's sleeve. I guess we'll all just have to stay tuned in and find out.
Posted by Lin at 1:01 AM