Hi, I’m Myrna. Myrna Ashlin Watts. I live in Jacksonville, Florida, United States of America, Earth. You might think that’s a little extensive for an introduction, but after you hear my tale, you’ll understand. See, I don’t live there anymore. I don’t even live on Earth anymore.
Let me start at the beginning. I was born 18 years ago, September 16th, actually. That makes me a Virgo-- which explains my proclivities. I’m outgoing and driven, but anxious and super critical. I plan far in advance then get really pissed when my plans are screwed over, like a storm rains out my perfectly-planned picnic with my boyfriend. I’m also really protective of my younger siblings.
I have three. Quinn is a year younger than me. Or was, I guess I should say. He won’t be getting any older, ever… Then there’s Marcy who’s 14 and Jarrod is 11. That makes me the oldest, which sucks. I get all the babysitting. Well, I used to get the babysitting chores. They’re not actually babies anymore. I still can’t wait to get out of here and go to college in the Fall. I’ll probably have to go to UNF, the university here in Jacksonville, so I can save money by staying at home. But at least I’ll have a little more freedom. I haven’t a clue what I want to study.
Mom is an English professor at the community college, although I don’t think they call it that anymore. And Dad owns an advertising agency. It’s the biggest agency in Jacksonville and maybe the Southeast. All I know is he gets me out of traffic tickets and DUIs when I’m stupid. I think he knows everyone who lives here. Everyone of importance, that is.
You know how I said I’m not on Earth? Well, the group I’m hanging with where I am I never would have even spoken to in high school. I mean, they’re such a collection of nerds and weirdoes. I was one of the cool cats in my senior class. There were six of us girls who hung together, ate lunch or at least picked at the tray of crap the school served us, skipped classes, shopped… You know, hung out together. We called ourselves The Funbox Crew. And if you don’t get it, I’m not explaining it. I miss those cretins. These yahoos are fun and all, if you can call what we’re doing in Hellsville fun, but they aren’t the Crew. I suppose everyone has to grow up eventually and it seems now it’s my turn.
I suppose you’re wondering where exactly I am and what I’m doing. I’m wondering the same thing. I know this isn’t Earth. I haven’t seen the sun shining in so long I’ve forgotten what a blue sky looks like. The sky here is constant gray drab. Not cloudy, like a storm is coming—just gray, all the time. I’m told the sky used to be bright blue and the sun shone every day. The grasses were forty shades of green and flowers bloomed everywhere. You’d never know it by the looks of this place now, though. It’s all thick forests as dark as your closet at night and steaming desert as far as you can see. Except for the occasional inland sea or gulf, or swamp or massive surging river system – and not to mention the oceans surrounding this landmass. And did I mention there are sea serpents, double-headed poisonous snakes, zombies and a bunch more awesome attractions? Great place to be stuck in, huh?
Well, I suppose that’s about all the time I have right now. I see one of the demon-dragons flying this way and I need to find a place to hide my crew. See ya…I hope.