Friday, October 1, 2010

Bonella interviews/attacks Lea










BONELLA: It’s my displeasure to welcome the publisher of MuseItUp and MuseItHOT Publishing.

LEA: Displeasure? A bit rude, no?

BONELLA: Listen, walk in my shoes for a bit. It’s very uncomfortable interviewing someone draped in...skin.

LEA:

BONELLA: So tell us, from writer to editor to publisher. What gives?

LEA: Well, with any job you first learn the industry inside out and then go for your dream. My last two goals have always been to open a publishing house and a bookstore and house books on consignment from writers around the world, those books that the mortar brick bookstores seem to deny because the books are POD, or self-published.

BONELLA: For a sec I thought you said ‘mortal’ and that made sense to me. So why is it so hard for you human writers to get into bookstores? Our Deathly Pit Emporium is huge and you can find everything from How to Date the Skeleton of your Dreams to Opening Mortal Doors and Scaring the BeeGeeBees Out of Them.

LEA: Well...um...fascinating titles. For us humans it’s a bit harder to get our books into actual stores only because the bookstores believe the profit margin – if compared to the bigger houses – is simply not there. So we need to work twice as hard to convince the store managers our books deserve placement.

BONELLA: So I hear you’re missing a tooth.

LEA: Come again?

BONELLA: Yeah, old man Haunt told me you don’t smile anymore cuz you’re missing a tooth. Heck, look at me, smiling and not one tooth.

LEA: I do smile.

BONELLA: Whatever. How many authors do you have? Are they happy with you? Has anyone dissed you? Hear you pull quite a few wet noodles. What’s up with that?

LEA: We have 80 authors right now, and yes, I believe they’re happy so far. And the wet noodles are nothing to fear. They’re little nudges of encouragement.

BONELLA: But you totally avoided answering the diss question. Okay, okay, stop rolling your eyes or I’ll shoot mine at you. Let’s see...okay, here’s a real human question—I read your post in the Readers Group and you mentioned something about more goodies in store for everyone. Like?

LEA: Well, this month we begin our monthly free ebook giveaway where one participating member in our readers group who joins in discussions with our authors gets the opportunity to be a winner. This month’s book was my tween chapter book, The Halloween Dino Trip, and the winner was Cheryl Malandrinos. Next month our FREE ebook will be The Killer Valentine Ball by C.A. Verstraete.

BONELLA: Oh, that’s so cool. Sounds like my kinda book. Most likely has my relatives in there cos, well, you kinda guessed we’re into ‘dead’, right? So what other goodies?

LEA: December 1st we'll be hosting our Launch Party and have two grand prizes, a year's worth of free ebooks and six months worth of free ebooks...

BONELLA: Is it necessary to add 'free' all the time? You are an editor and it's repetitive.

LEA: Uh...January we'll announce our FREE E-Reader winner; February we'll be hosting a Why I Should Win Valentine Contest, and a slew of other goodies to be announced.

BONELLA: I can’t think of any questions so for now I’m going to have to thank you as the hostess of the Muse Masquerade Festival, but I reserve the right to pull you back in here when I come up with something else.

LEA: Thank you for hosting our...

BONELLA: We ran out of time, sorry. Okay, readers, so rate me. How was my very first ‘human’ – yuck – interview? I’ll be popping in and dissing...um...interviewing more authors throughout the month so stay tuned.

18 comments:

Roseanne Dowell said...

Well, Bonella, other than cutting off our esteemed leader a ciuple of times, you did a pretty good job. What do you mean, she's missing a tooth? Oh and the wet noodle thingy, I've been victim of it more than once. Don't tell Lea, but it really doesn't hurt. Course if I had followed the rules and taken my gab out of the Author's group and into the gabroom, I wouldn't have gotten wet noodled. On the other hand, I wonder why she always seemed to pick on my posts, instead of others. HMMMMM..... Okay, off subject here. Nice job, Bonella, but try to be a little kinder to our boss lady, okay?

Karen McGrath said...

What a wicked old bag of bones Bonella is, what crypt did she crawl out of?!

Lea, you can come over to MY blog anytime you wish. :)

Bonella, Shmonella...

Susanne Drazic said...

LOL, Bonella must have crawled out of the wrong side of the crypt. Fun interview to read. Look forward to reading more interesting interviews with Bonella asking the questions.

MuseItUp Publishing said...

BONELLA: Thanks for the compliment, Susanne. More to come and the first victim since I've become a pro at human interviews will be Roseanne Dowell coming up in two days. Oh, hold on because this is going to be fun, fun,fun!!

And then wait for Karen's interview. Dissed me? Gonna get some soup coming her way.

Charlie said...

Well, Bonella, as to how you interviewed? I think you still need to work a little on your PEOPLE skills. lol. Fun interview. Enjoyed it.

Tonya Callihan said...

LOL...fun interview. I think Bonella you should learn not to cut people off during there answer...but then again it was funny and I guess it did fit your personailty...from what we've seen of it so far.

Emily Pikkasso said...

Hmmmm, Bonella might be nicer if she had a boyfriend. Maybe we should introduce her to Curvis from The Bone Lord coming soon from William Cornwell and MuseItUp Publishing. Curvis is quite the dashing undead kind of guy.
Thoughts anyone? They could attend C.A. Verstraete's Killer Valentine Ball as their first date.

Marsha A. Moore said...

Geeze, I hope we're not looking to take on Bonella as a new editor. Too picky!

Roseanne Dowell said...

Be careful what you say here, I just finished my interview with the old bag of bones and I'll tell ya, polite just isn't in her vocabulary or her attitude either. Nasty old thing.

MuseItUp Publishing said...

BONELLA: Roseanne, your interview isn't up yet and I have the option of altering your answers.

LEA: No, you don't.

BONELLA: But you said I can have fun this month.

LEA: Being rude is not having fun.

BONELLA: Fine, Fine, FINE!!! Oh Marsha, I had an interview all planned for you but you're not on the list of authors presenting this month in the festival. Boo hoo! My sockets bleed for you.

Cheryl said...

Bonella, Lea is an amazing woman. I hope you appreciate how many books at MuseItUp include mysteries, magic, murder, ghosts, and other fun things you should enjoy.

Lea, I am so thrilled that you have achieved this dream of yours. Wishing you and all your authors tons of success.

Cheryl

P.S. Thanks for the free eBook.

Roseanne Dowell said...

Hey, are you forgettng my threat, you skinny bag of bones? I told you don't underestimate my temper. You're barking up the wrong tree, or hooting or whatever the heck you skeletons do. You don't like my answers, that's tough. But I'm not too worried. I know Lea will keep you on the straight and narrow. And watch out because she weilds a mean wet noodle that just might knock your skinny bones on your A$%.

Susanne Drazic said...

I had to stop by and see what other people are saying about Bonella. I think this is going to be a very interesting month of interviews.

Be nice Bonella or you won't make too many friends here. LOL

Happy October 1st everyone!

S.Durham said...

Well Bonella certainly has spunk, I'll give her that, and she really has it going on with that hat! Looking forward to this months interviews.

Cheers to October, it's one of my favorite months!

Sara

Emily Pikkasso said...

I can't wait for Rosanne's interview. let's bill it as the Ro and Bo Show. Kind of like Oprah with bones, wet noodles and cutesy hats. By the by, who is Bonella's fashion co-ordinator? Where does one get a hat like that?

Nancy

Dragonmuse said...

Bonella's interview skills just need fleshing out. ;)

Lin said...

Ro, bones rattle. And what's this about being interviewed by crumbling calcium deposits? Not me...I already DID my ghostly interviewing and there were a total of four wafty ones for me to grill.

Bonella, I wouldn't turn your eye socket on Lea, she's smarter than any old pile of moldy ribs.

Everyone else, I have three different bits of October tales for my readers...and Bonella, as I said, I already have an ample supply of specters in attendance so if you want to take the day off and let your bones creak a bit more, feel free.

Andrea said...

Well done, Bonella. And Lea, kudos to you for surviving the interview...

Andrea