BONELLA VS ROSEANNE
BONELLA: So Roseanne Dowell is my next victim...interviewee, and she had a bone—hehe a bone, I crack myself up—to pick with me.
So, Roseanne, why do you act all tough and bothered at times? I mean, you picked on me for picking on your 'leader'...yeah right...so I want to know how this affects you?
ROSEANNE: Me? Tough and bothered? It affects me because there's no reason whatsoever to be rude and nasty. Besides, I like Lea, and I don't like to see my friends picked on. Okay?
BONELLA: You got friends? Hmm...Hear you have quite a few contracts over at the Muse. But I also hear you got shafted for too many 'she's'. Explain why that's a 'bad' thing or maybe you want to dish out some goodies about your 'leader' and maybe she's a bit too picky?
ROSEANNE: HEHEH this sounds like a setup question if I ever heard one.
BONELLA: A set up? Now you’re sounding a bit paranoid, as though your ‘friends’ talk about you. Answer the question please.
ROSEANNE: Yeah, I got shafted, a couple times matter of fact. Once the story ended too quickly. I'm still working on that one. My leader picky? Okay, yeah, she is. But why shouldn't she be? It's her company and she only wants quality work. So she has a right to be. At least I think she does.
BONELLA: Thinks she does? Ohhh...diss to your leader. Heard she likes giving you ‘awards’.
ROSEANNE: Okay let's see that's 5 'she's' right in a row. Kind of boring reading isn't it? Doesn't show anything, tells a lot, but we're not in the business of telling. We're trying to show our stories. Make the reader part of it. So yeah, using too many 'she's' is a bad thing and thankfully, Lea sent it back and said "Fix it". So I did and it reads much better.
BONELLA: By the way, noticed your pic in your author's page. I have to take back any negative comments I made. You look like a bad-A$% momma, one not to push too far or else...wham, bam, there go my bones. Am I right? Would you hit a skinny thing like me?
ROSEANNE: LOL I am a bad-A$% momma, just ask my kids. And yeah I even hit them a couple of times. You push me too far and I might just smack you around a bit. Never underestimate my temper.
BONELLA: LOOK, I'm shaking in my boots...NOT! What's your thinking process while writing? How do you come up with ideas? We, the undead, watch you humans in total disgust how you traipse about all worried about someone stealing your work. That's our main theme in our part of town, stealing. Do you have any worries while writing?
ROSEANNE: Thinking process....hmmmm..... do you honestly give me credit for thinking? I'm impressed.
BONELLA: Don't be...Lea was shaking her head behind you for me to play nice.
ROSEANNE: And not really an insult in this question. Wow...
BONELLA: You're pushing your luck, lady...
ROSEANNE: Okay, seriously, Ideas are everywhere around us. Authors look at the world with a different eye so to speak.
BONELLA: Oh wait 'til you meet Mummsy Bitter, she's got a look to give you...
ROSEANNE: Instead of sitting in traffic complaining about not moving, we look at the cars around us. See that couple next to you, she looks mad. Why? We make up stories about it. Ever go to the grocery store and look in people's carts? Try it sometimes. There's one loaded with groceries, several gallons of milk. Shouts big family. Oh maybe one only has wine and cheese - romantic evening planned? Not to mention the newspaper - even the for sale ads. Authors just have active imaginations about everything. We make up stories for just about every occasion. I have one on the back burner about a body found in a chimney. That was actually on the news.
BONELLA: STOP. You're breaking my heartless heart and boring...
LEA: If you don't want to host there are others waiting--
BONELLA: Did I say I was quitting? Do I have to like everyone?
Last question...if you could get rid of one Muse author, who would that be? Naw, just pulling your leg...email me offlist and tell me though. The real question is how have you grown as a writer over the years? And once you finish answering I'm going to wash my mouth out because sticking around you humans is beginning to leave a bad taste in my mouth.
ROSEANNE: WHAT?? That was a horrible thing to even joke about. I love my fellow authors here. We're a family. You couldn't find a nicer group of people. We laugh with each other, cry with each other and encourage each other.
BONELLA: Does anyone else hear violins playing?
ROSEANNE: You're not a very nice bag of bones. How have I grown, hmm that's kind of pesonal isn't it? Okay, I put on 60# over the last eight years, are you happy? Oh did you mean as a writer? By writing every day, it comes more natural now. Once I learned the basics of show, don't tell - the ah ha moment, well it sure got a lot easier.Hey, you should have washed your mouth out before you started this interview - not only a bad taste in your mouth, but the odor you're emitting, phew. I'm glad I don't have to stand next to you all the time.
BONELLA: Oh, the disses...need to perfect them if you want a bony rise in me. Death has a way of making you immune to id--
LEA: Last warning!
BONELLA: There you go again, popping in before allowing me, your hostess, to finish her sentence. Talk about rude. I was saying...Death has a way of making you immune to idols. What? You thought I was going to say idiots? Shame on you Lea.
Once again it's been my extreme displeasure of smelling your ugly body odor and hearing your answers. Stay tuned for the next victim in this ghastly month of the Muse Masquerade Festival.
My friends are eager to pop in.