Sunday, October 3, 2010
Me vs Bonella
So, Bonella, It's my turn to ask you some questions. HEHEHEH
BONELLA: Give it your best shot, Toots, I'm all bones...or like you 'alive' folks would say, I'm all ears.
You'd better watch who you're calling toots. How come you're so rude all the time? Didn't anyone ever teach you manners?
BONELLA: You're gonna make me weep...boo...hoo..bahumbagaboo...you seem to forget I live six feet under, walk around during October as a stretching period, and no sockets with eyeballs to allow weeping. Human emotions don't exist for the living night folks like me.
Don't tell me all the walking dead are mean and nasty as you. I don't believe it. You have a chip on your shoulder the size of a tree trunk.
So, You mentioned I looked like a bad A$% momma. I'm curious, just what specifically in that picture makes me look that way? And by the way, have you looked in a mirror lately? Sweetie, your looks leave a lot to be desired.
BONELLA:Those glasses. You're covering the evil squint that only folks like me can see. There's that glint of trouble emanating through those specs humans can't see, but I clearly see the red pupils, Miss Devil Horns...oops...did I let the cat outta the bag now? Geez, sorry, no really...NOT! And as a matter of fact the mirror loves me. How many have you broken?
Why are you so interested in us authors and our thought process or how we come up with ideas? Are you thinking of writing a story yourself? Are you, huh? Or are you thinking of stealing someone's story? I wouldn't put it past you, you skraggy skeleton.
BONELLA: First, thank you for the compliment. Skraggy is in as opposed to..
BONELLA: What the heck are you doing here? It's my interview, my time, my...
LEA: I have the eraser and delete button.
BONELLA: Well, the truth be known it's that whacky publisher of yours who resurrected me for a book she's writing. From all things, a children's book. Can you picture me in a children's book? All those snotty kids telling me the right way of doing things. I'd rather stay in the fiery pit than have those goodie goodie two shoes teaching me virtues. YUCK! YUCK! AND DOUBLE YUCK!
I can't picture you in any book. But if Lea thinks you're worth writing about, then so be it. Gosh, I can't imagine why. I don't think anyone can teach you anything, least of all kids. Those poor things having to deal with you.
Don't you think you owe Lea an apology? I mean seriously, she was nice enough to allow you to conduct these interviews, and you have the nerve to pick on her. Picking on me is one thing, Heck, I'm used to it. People do it all the time. Besides I grew up with three brothers and two sisters, if you want to see picked on, Ha, you ain't seen nothing. But Lea, well, she ain't done nothing but helped people, you shouldn't be so nasty to her.
BONELLA: And this deserves an answer because? By the way, my heart bleeds for you... oh wait, I ain't got a heart. HEHEHEHE But going back to your publisher. She knew exactly what she was doing. Drumming up interest for readers and, baby, I'm DA BOMBSTERNATOR of hosting. So no apologies. I ain't putting on no facade for no one. And if you think I'm bad...oh boy oh boy oh boy...wait until later this month when my pals begin to hop on. The show's about to begin!!
All I can say is thank goodness I don't have to deal with you or your pals. But I'll be hanging around, watching you. You can count on that. And just remember my devil eyes, sister. You get too out of hand and I'll be turning them on you quicker than you can say evil spell.
Well, folks there you have it. This skinny bag of bones just doesn't quit. But what can you do? I tried. But there' just no being nice to this creature. Geez! All I can say, is I'm glad my interview is over. I feel for the poor victims yet to come. Bonella is getting meaner and nastier with each interview and those friensds she's planning on brnging in. Well good luck to everyone.