Litsa Got Run Over by a Reindeer
Litsa got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me an' Lea, we believe.
She'd been drinking too much ouzo,
And we begged her not to go.
But she forgot her extra liquor,
And she staggered out the door to fetch it back.
When we found her Christmas morning,
At the scene of the attack
Santa’s sleigh bell on her forehead,
And incriminating Claus marks on her back.
(And a smile on her face? Hey wait a minute…What kind of song is this anyway?)
Now we're all so proud of Lea,
She's been taking this so well.
See her in there formatting wildly,
Drinking wine and cursing commas all the while.
It's not Christmas without Litsa,
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?
(I say OPEN THEM! It might be something GOOD!)
Now the author is on the table
And her goose is surely cooked
And the red and greenish candles,
That would just have matched the hair in Litsa’s wig.
I've warned all my friends and neighbours,
Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never give a license,
To a man who swigs and drives and plays with elves.