Saturday, February 12, 2011

Crushes and Valentine's Day

Crushes are part of almost every person’s life. They make you do crazy things in the hope the one you adore will at least look your way. You live in a secret world, although maybe you might tell your best girlfriends about him. I remember my friends and I all had a crush on this one boy, Elliott, who lived a little down the block from me in Brooklyn. My friends and I did some awful things to him. We rang his bell and ran away. We hid and watched him open the door to no one. We called him and hung up, because no one had the guts to speak with him. He never talked to us.

My next crush was on a boy in Junior High, Jeffrey. One day my girlfriends found a way for both of us to get together in the schoolyard during lunchtime recess. The boys got in one group and the girls in another and they put both of us in front of each group. Then they pushed the groups together until we met in the middle of the schoolyard. Both of us stared at each other and embarrassment overrode everything else. The kids kept pushing us even closer until we had to kiss. Not exactly earth shattering as I remember, but who could overcome the overwhelming embarrassment of being the center of attention like that? I remember afterward we barely spoke with each other and it was sad, because we had been much friendlier before the incident and I thought he was funny too. Every now and then even now I wonder what has become of him.

In high school there was a Sadie Hawkins Day dance and I wanted to go. So I had a crush on this really gorgeous guy who sat behind me and barely talked to me. But if anyone really knows me, you would know I am pretty brave. I walked up to this guy, his name was David, and I asked him to the dance. I remember my palms were sweating and I’m sure I stumbled over my words a lot. It didn’t’ matter, because he totally turned me down with actually no excuse at all. I was heartbroken and never asked out another boy. I felt ugly and stupid and wondered if any boy would ever want me. I never went to the dance either.:)

In my young adult novel, If I Could Be Like Jennifer Taylor, Carolyn, the main character has a giant crush on Brad, who is a junior in high school, the quarterback of the football team, and Jennifer Taylor’s boyfriend. Jennifer has been bullying Carolyn all through middle school so at first Carolyn doesn’t feel so bad having a crush on her boyfriend. When Carolyn is around Brad it feels so right, but she feels guilty after awhile. What is a girl to do about this? If I Could Be Like Jennifer Taylor will be published in September. Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

7 comments:

Viviane Brentanos said...

Ah crushes. I have had crushes all my life. At age..... I still do. I am always falling for someone. Is it the challenge of that which we know is unobtainable? I have an ms langering in my drawer. Central taboo theme of schoolgirl crush on teacher. Oh the angst.

jolenejolenejolene said...

Cool title....same name as Jennifer Taylor [the gal from Two and Half Men].

lionmother said...

Thank you Viviane and Jolene for visiting! Viviane I know what you mean. I didn't chronicle the ones that came afterward, but as with you they didn't stop.:)

Jolene, I didn't realize that when I gave it that title. It just sounded like a name for a girl like her.

Lin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lin said...

My friendly inner-dyslexic is at it again, so I had to delete my previous comment...Let's try this again...

I was the smart kid the teachers always called on who knew the answers. Having crushes when you're smart hurts because the cool girls, the ones who wear the right clothes, apply makeup with skill and perfection, don't like smart girls. We waste time studying when we should be cutting class so we can gather in the girls room and smoke while gossiping about who bonked whom over the weekend and how many times.

How do I know what went on in the girls room?

The girl who'd been my friend all through grade school at St. Andrews became one of the COOL girls when we transferred to public school for our high school years. When no one was around, she'd still spend time with me and tell me what the COOL girls really did and said.

What saved me, and my sanity, is that I graduated two years ahead of them, and got to go out into the real world to be an adult sooner than they did...the real world wasn't much different...cliques form in some of the strangest places.

So crushes...they were painful and useless in school.

Now?

I don't think that way and am surprised when men flirt with me.

I think because I am a writer, I live in my own world much of the time, so when I am noticed, it's a complete surprise to me. I bet in another lifetime I was your classic absent minded professor.

I keep believing that when you meet HIM, you'll know he's the one, and so far that hasn't happened...But it will.

Until then, I am happy creating HIM in my stories for my heroines.

L. K. Below said...

Oh, I remember awkward crushes. So glad that's over with LOL. I'll stick with my boyfriend over sweaty palms and asking out boys who say no haha.

lionmother said...

Lin, as someone who met HIM forty-six years ago it is really the best. The only trouble is that heroes have feet of clay.:) But while you are in the throes of real love it is better than any drug!!!!