Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Aunt Maddy from Angela’s Coven by Bruce Jenvey

“I really don’t have time to write this, you know! It’s the middle of our Harvest Season up here in the Catskills and I have the young-ones-in-training out in the woods right now collecting all the Fagan’s Moss, Troll Dust and St. Isaac’s Root they can find. Meantime, I’m tendin’ to all the stuff we got simmering on the kitchen stove. We’re way behind schedule and now, my niece, Angela, just texted me from the city that she’s coming up for an ‘indefinite stay’ and bringing her new boyfriend with her. Great! It’s Harvest Time, everything’s a mess and those three young ones treat this place more like a sorority house than the home of their coven. And now, we gotta make an impression for her boyfriend, too?

Then she tells me he’s a celebrity! He’s Reggie Sinclair, the freakin’ rock star! Not that I’d ever let him know I’ve got all his records back to the 60s, but I know there’s only reason she’s comin’ here: They’ve done something to piss off Mr. Ajax, Lucifer’s right hand man and they’re hoping we can fix it!

You’ll have to pardon me now, but I can smell the Devil’s Yeast a little too strong. That crap goes volatile if gets to a full boil! Wait… you think that’s funny? Well, do ya? … I sure hope you sleep good tonight… I’m just sayin’…”

4 comments:

MuseItUp Publishing said...

BONELLA: You got troll dust? Have you ever met the Crypt Police? You think I'm scary? Those fire breathing horns can kill you with their stench.

Ya know...I like ya'. That volatile crap smells delicious. Room for me?

Bruce Jenvey said...

Bonella, if you don't help pick the herbs, or help with the grinding, there's no place at the table! And tonight, Shannon's making her specialty: Detonated Chicken. It cooks slowly in the roaster then ends with a BANG! Kinda a Chinese thing with veggies, rice and itty bitty bits of chicken...
Aunt Maddy

MuseItUp Publishing said...

BONELLA: Finally...someone I can connect with. Have you ever tried Detonated Human? Those sounds as they pop are so pop-corny it tickles my bones.

Bruce Jenvey said...

Again, everyone thinks just because we're witches, we're in league with the Devil! Ain't So! We aren't necessarily evil. We don't eat people. There's no roast Hansel or grilled Grettle around here! We're just ordinarly gals with a flair for chemistry! ...OK, so I'm 280 years old, but that's just a genetic fluke to do with my parentage. Nothin' magical or mystical about it. Swear! We're just nice old ladies (and young gals) in the woods... we like cooking stuff up on the stove and ocassionally the Sears BBQ out back. WE are more the VICTIMS here. We are caught in the middle of that battle between good and evil, Heaven and Hell... We're like... Swiss Army witches!
Aunt Maddy