Sunday, March 6, 2011

Lee Alvarez takes you on!!

Okay, listen up. I get sick and tired of people saying simply because I wear designer clothes, carry designer handbags, am shod in designer footware, and live in the Bay Area, I am soft or not worthy. Not on your life. I'll take any of you lamebrains on. I am licensed to pack heat, find the perp, and am a black-belt in Karate. I roll over for nobody....unless it's Lila Alvarez, my mother and CEO of Discretionary inquiries. I mean, you know how it is. Mom throws me Big Time. You think going to some place where they have a bunch of dinosaurs is a big deal? Try facing off my mother, Lila Hamilton Alvarez. I swear she bays at the moon, eats telephones for breakfast, and can scorch your hair off with one single, icey stare.
Well, okay, all I've actually seen her do is filet fish in her Halston evening gown on a trip to Yosemite. She scares me; I admit it. But you don't scare me! None of you!! Hah! Bring it on!!!! I am soooo there.

4 comments:

Heather Haven said...

Did I not mention I am from Murder is a Family Business, part of the Alvarez Murder Mystery Series? Let me do so now. I've got the whole Alvarez Family behind me, Lila (mother), Richard (brother), Tio (uncle), and Tugger (cutest cat in the world). Warming up in the bull pen.

MuseItUp Publishing said...

BONELLA: Ouch...your mom sounds like a big BEE_Atch. Every try to douse her with RAID?

Heather Haven said...

You're kidding, right? Lila Hamilton Alvarez brushes her teeth with RAID.

Marva Dasef said...

Lee. Lee. Lee. Poor kid thinks she's some kind of kick-ass detective, but all she manages to do is get knocked on the head and almost scuppered.

As for brains of the family, her brother got all those. Lee. Well, sorry Lee. But you're a lightweight.