Friday, October 21, 2011

Bonella Chews Susan Royal


BONELLA: Ah...what a bit of makeup does to one's mood...
Well look at that, I forgot all about you, Toots. Thanks for the spitball…greatly appreciated. Went good with my chocolate ice cream. So here are you interview questions, Miss Spit Winner, answer so I can get on with my dead life.
Do you own a time travel machine? Have you ever been blasted out of a cannon? No…then who gave you the stamp of authority to write a time travel romance? Huh?

SUSAN:  Bonella, as I live and breathe.  Your--ummm-reputation precedes you!  As for the time-travel thingy?  I'm on a first name basis with H.G. Wells, didn't you know?  You didn't?  Ask him, hon.  He lives in your neighborhood.

BONELLA: You do know how nutty and insane that sounds, right? You having conversations with Wells…don’t forget to take that pretty pill of yours tonight or else those men with the white jackets are coming back.

K, there’s one thing that’s cool about you, living in a 100 year old home. How many ghosts crawl into the shower with you? Have you heard scratches against your bedroom door? Looked under your bed lately? HAHAHAHA Stop shivering…so? What’s so cool about living in a place that’s about to fall on your head? Death wish?

SUSAN: I have a penchant for soaking in the tub, so no ghosts in the shower.  Hubby has been goosed a few times, and even though he tried to put the blame on me, I am innocent.  Covers pulled off my feet at night, slithering noises in the walls, things that go missing.  As for living in a place about to fall on my head?  I live dangerously.

BONELLA: AH!!!If that’s what you call living dangerously then guess you’ve never experienced an exorcism…those demons are something fierce!!!!!
Got excited for a sec but misread ‘rich’ where you mean ‘rich with characters’. So that means you are a certified nutty asylum bedridden Muser alright. Why is it that all of you writers have other people in your head? What can they possibly say to you?

SUSAN:  Hmm, now that you mention it, there are quite a few ancestors that have taken up residence in a loony b--err home.  The people in my head whisper all kinds of things.  Your name's even been mentioned.

BONELLA: Ah, smart people…You won a flash fiction I see. Here’s mine:
GET LOST!
Those two words say it all, no? So you’ve got one of those characters in your head posing as another character in your book. Wow, bad enough that you’re nutso now you’re trying to nutso your fictional characters. And they call ME insane!  Anyhooboo…in your website noticed a pic of SNOW! So what fascinates you…besides the nutty characters in your head…about snow and winter?

SUSAN:  What makes people tick fascinates me, Bonella.  You'd make a lovely case study.

BONELLA: Sorry, last person who studied me…well…she’s totally off her rocker AND marbles…just ask her…her name is ROSEANNE DOWELL…
I’m getting hungry and losing my appetite quickly so let’s wrap this up. How many more characters in your head want to jump out onto paper? Have you started anything new?

SUSAN:  I'm writing about Lara, a girl who travels into another dimension, searching for her alternate self.

BONELLA: Yep, sounds Unfascinating and what a great time to say…
Thank you…NOT…for the displeasure of your company. There’s the door…And please make sure not to yell out where readers can find you.

SUSAN:  Bowing and backing out the door.  It's been REAL!!!

BONELLA: Actually, this is all fake…your pill is working…the men are taking you back to your padded cell…and they’re bringing all your mind characters to keep you company…sleep tight, CinderNutso.

3 comments:

Roseanne Dowell said...

You just can't get me out of your mind, can you Bony? Always have to bring up my name. I'm in your head more than you think you spindly b...uh bag of bones.

gail roughton branan said...

What's the matter Bonella? Forget about me? Don't you wanta come back and play some more? I can you deeeeeep into Stone Creek Stone this time. Susan, good job.

Susan Royal said...

Being a newbie, I was a little worried about doing a guest spot with Bonella Sticks. As I have already mentioned, her reputation preceeds her. And now that it's over, I can in all honesty say the interview was a totally unique experience.