BONELLA: So I hear around the poison ivy that you guys missed me. HA! Where are your hosts...huh...aren't they supposed to be entertaining you bozos? Sticks and stones may break my bones...but your idiot hosts have DOGgone left this party it seems. Regardless, I'm here now...they can kiss my skinny butt.
Enjoy my first interview with one of your creatures: Kat Holmes
BONELLA: Get out!!! You’re still with Muse? Be still my non-beating heart. What the hay!! Thought by now your Lighthouse ghost would have scared the crap out of you. Oh well...one more victim to add to my list. Below are the interview questions. Miss one and you’re mince meat...no wait...that’s the portion I’ll add while I stew you alive.
BONELLA: So now I hear not only are you hearing ghosts but you’ve completely wiped out the poor gods and have them working. What are you...nuts? Love to play on the dangerous side? Don’t you know...wait...yeah...play on the dangerous side...gods won’t hurt you...NOT! So what’s up with this Gods series? Can’t you still play with normal folks?
KAT: What’s normal? I learned long ago not much in this world was normal. And you are living…err not living proof of that.
BONELLA: By the Gods of the Undead…she realized I’m dead. Ten leech-infected cookies for her. By the way, are you named Kat because your mom loves cats? Does this mean the nut factory is alive and kicking?
KAT: I happen to love cats myself. And yes there is a nut factory near hear. I hear they put out really tasty salted peanuts. You should try some. Might put a little meat on those old bones of yours.
SLIM RIBBER: Hi, Kat...remember me?...OUCH!
BONELLA: Why would she remember you, Slim? Uh? What? I thought so. So come on, Kat Woman, what’s the fascination with Gods, Lighthouses, Ghosts...well, ghosts are cool...but lighthouses? They just have a wheel that goes round and round and round and round...and a light that glimmers on an empty body of water.
KAT: But lighthouses also have a past rooted in mystery, disappearances, and murder. One lighthouse in particular, known as the Execution Rock Lighthouse was first used by the British to drown colonial soldiers and later taken over by a mob hitman who dumped his victims into the water just offshore. As for my love of Gods, well, let’s just say they have personality. They could make you tremble.
BONELLA: Perhaps they could but you forget I’m dead and nothing scares me. I
KAT: Well, in spite of your graphic description of how you are going to avoid my response…
BONELLA: Now there you go…assuming and putting words in my mouth. Hold on…need to shut the door…OKAY…I’M SAFELY IN THE CAN…
KAT: I’ll answer you anyway. Currently I’m working on a sequel to Artica Lights series and then I’ll be starting a new series and working on the next book in my vampire series. I’m very very busy.
Door creaks open and Bonella walks back into the interview room.
BONELLA: I’m sure your answer was…um…educational. Well tie you upside down and knock your brains out...you are now the Head Reviewer? HA! Guess I could be surprised. And what exactly does that head of yours review?
KAT: Well, personally I review my own stories. But as head reviewer my job is to make sure other authors get their books out there in the world for critiques. It gives them exposure which of course can help sales.
BONELLA: And I’m sure you go in and add a few negative comments, right? No?!?…Need to wrap this up...have better places to go, more people to pester...where can humans find you so I can make sure to tell my buds NOT to visit.
KAT: Well I am with Muse It Up of course. I also am on Twitter and Facebook. I have a website, blog and a BTR show as well. www.authorkatholmes.webs.com http://katluvr130.blogspot.com www.blogtalkradio.com/katholmes1212 And I know you and your friends WILL stop by. You just can’t resist me.
BONELLA: Oh, we CAN resist you, trust me. Once a year meeting up with the stench of you humans is more than us undead can handle.
BUTCH: And this concludes the interview.
BONELLA: Helllloooo…and you are?
BUTCH: Your nightmare. Be afraid…be VERY afraid.