Saturday, January 7, 2012

It's All About The Cash

Dear Reporter,

I gotta to tell you, Paris Hilton and Michelle Jackson were right; it ain’t easy being rich and famous. You never get any privacy with paparazzi constantly stalking you. If I turn my cell phone off more than three minutes, Stephen Spielberg starts banging on my door with a list of questions about the script. Oh, didn’t you hear? My New York Best Selling novel is being made into a movie. Johnny Depp is playing the main character, of course… Excuse me, I have to take this call, it’s my PR scheduling me for brunch with Oprah.

Dear Reporter,

Why does everyone assume all authors are rich and famous and brilliant? If I ask you what you do for a living and you say you work for Wal-Mart, I wouldn’t assume you meant you are the CEO of Wal-Mart. You lucky bastard, you must have money pouring out of your behind.

Oh sure, some of us get lucky. But there are about as many “lucky” authors as there are Wal-Mart CEO’s. The rest of us are just cashiers or greeters working 15 hours a day for less than minimum wage, no over-time, and no benefits. We don’t do this to get rich. Well, it might start out that way, but we don’t stay to get rich. We do it because we’re artist and you know the saying… “Starving artist”…it’s a lifestyle choice and not one that has anything to do with Paris Hilton…well…unless you’re an erotica author that likes the hands-on research. Just saying.

But honestly, my mom keeps asking when my thousand-dollar advance is going to come and the boyfriend constantly hounds me about getting a “real” job. Well they can all kiss my big fat booty because I’m doing what I love to do, what I want to do. I wake up every morning excited to get on the computer and write. I bet not even the CEO’s at Wal-Mart can say that.


Danielle Ravencraft


ChrisChat said...

LOVE this...Thank you. Ahh, to dream of those phones calls.

I've never been happier in any 'job' as I am right now.

Pat McDermott said...

Who needs all that money anyway? :-) Keep on writing, Danielle.

Danielle Ravencraft said...

Chris - That is exactly how I feel too. I've had other jobs in the past that made me way more money in an hour than I make in a single royalty check - but I HATED those jobs. They all made me feel lower than dirt and miserable. I may be broke now, but I'm happy and that is way more valuable.

Pat - right on!