Monday, May 24, 2010

Presenting Noted Paranormal Lecturer, Ken Parker

[The house lights dim, and a distinguished looking professor-type
comes on stage, puts his notes on the podium, and looks out at the

Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. I'm Doctor Ken Parker, of the
Department of Paranormal Studies at Montcalm College. But I guess
you know that, you wouldn't be here otherwise, would you?

[The audience laughs.]

I have spent a number of years studying Magic and the Paranormal,
and I am convinced that Magic exists and is all around us. After a
while I decided that I ought to present this information to the
public, and I went to work developing a TV show about this. Let me
ask, have any of you seen the show "Ghosties?"

[He pauses, counts a small number of raised hands.]

Not too many of you. Fortunately! It's awful, isn't it? Well, I
hate to admit it, but I was responsible for "Ghosties." My original
idea was to do a serious show, perhaps for PBS. Then a group of
network producers--I'm sure you can figure out which network--got
wind of it and bought the rights for an outrageous sum of money. I
figured out later that a bunch of warlocks was behind it, even
that network wouldn't have spent so much money without an
evil influence working on them. The network completely changed the
show, coming up with "Ghosties." My boss at the college said it was
totally embarrassing and used it as an excuse to kick me out ...
fortunately we got that sorted out eventually.

I went off on a road trip and ended up in what was then called
Groverton, a town filled with magic and magic users. There were
witches and warlocks. The witches were almost all women, most of
them good. In fact, I'd like to introduce you to one of the nicest
witches I know, my wife Jinny.

[He gestures, and a cute redhead in the front row stands, turns to
face the audience, and waves.]

She was the one who convinced me to stop denying the evidence and
admit that I was a witch, too, one of the very rare male witches.
Just about the time I got there, the warlocks in town, all evil,
were gearing up for a big battle. They planned to resurrect the
ghost of Mordecai Grover, a warlock who had been killed there eighty
or so years earlier ...

[He pauses and looks down at Jinny, who is pointing to her watch.]

Sorry, I'm running out of time here. I'd love to tell you the full
story, but I guess you'll have to read the book, "The Ghost of
Grover's Ridge"
by James Hartley. I helped him write it, and I'm
sure you'll enjoy it. Good night, everyone.

[He picks up his notes and walks off stage, waving to the audience.
Jinny gets up and heads for the stage door. The house lights come up.]


Paul and Karen said...


Karen :)

Cheryl said...

Nice job, I mean Ken.


Nancy Bell said...

Well spoken, Dr. Parker. Are there any little witches on the way yet? Sorry, just small town curiousity. :~)

Anonymous said...

Hey Ken, Michael here.

I'm a character in a soon-to-be-released book from your author's publisher. I'm stuck in the fifteenth century and I don't know if my author's going to get me back to the present.

If the warlocks in your town are set to bring back the ghost of Mordecai Grover, do you think you could spell me back home? After all, I'm not a ghost, only lost in time, so it should be simple.

By the way, congratulations on your marriage and best of luck with your new witch status.

Michael Patriate
Caorle, Veneto, Italy (1492)

Jim Hartley said...

Michael, I don't think I'd trust those warlocks (or any warlocks). Depend on them for time travel and you'll most likely be fleeing from dinosaurs. But I'll have Jinny check with her grandmother to see if she knows any good time travel spells.

Ken P

Marsha A. Moore said...

Looking forward to seeing what trouble Jim got you into in Groverton.


Unknown said...

Thanks, everybody, for coming to my lecture on the Paranormal. And thanks for all the nice comments.

Ken Parker

Viviane Brentanos said...

Nice to meet you, Ken. A suggestion. How about teeming up with Edward Cullen to fight the warlocks?


Unknown said...

Viviane - I would have to talk to Edward and see if this would be feasible, but it's certainly worth thinking about. Of course my author, James Hartley, doesn't have any experience doing collaborations, but it won't hurt him to learn something new.


Lin said...

Great post and congratulations on your marriage. You and Jinny sound like you've got a lot of work ahead of you. I am currently working with a character who is back in Lemuria. I'll ask her to send you some ancient magic, so if you feel this really old and star-born wave of something heading your way, know that all of Lemuria is sending you their best.

Anonymous said...

Pleasure to meet you, Ken! As a werewolf, I know a little something about magic!

Chloe Dunn
A Taste of Terror

Michael Patriate said...


I think your author and my author have been visiting. Mine said something about Google and I checked. They gave me my very own gmail account all the way back to the 15th century! How can they do that?

I'll be talking to you again.

Michael Patriate