Friday, October 22, 2010

Bonella has a few words with another Muse Editor

BONELLA: So...What a wicked old bag of bones Bonella is, what crypt did she crawl out of?! I will tell you that my crypt is THE crypt to be at. I can make it happen so you can visit...but then they'll accuse me of murder so forget about it.

First 'human' question for you: You like Roseanne Dowell? Hear your 'leader' has wet noodled her a few times.

Do you like hide in a dark place to write like I do? What's your writing process?

Karen: Haha, Bonella. Do you do any crypt hopping?

BONELLA: Actually I do, what's your point? So let's get back to this 'Ro Ro Ro' gal.

KAREN: Yes, I like Roseanne Dowell, she is one smart cookie! And those wet noodles... like Lea said, encouragement nudges. But I'm afraid wet noodles would just sort of stick to your bones and then you'd look kind of stringy. Not fashionable for a skeleton, I think. :)

Oh, my writing process. I live in a townhouse where every room is in full use so I sit on one end of my couch and "disappear" into my computer, no matter what is going on, as long as supper is made and the like. My children are always home, which is great, but it does make for not much quiet time, unlike you having a whole cemetery. Sheesh, spread the wealth, Bonella!

Now yesterday I developed a new writing process... I was driving through downtown Boston and had a major download brainstorm for a novel. I grabbed my notebook and pen out of my backpack while steering through traffic on all sides, I felt like I was in a slow motion car chase, for crying out loud. But I managed to jot it all down at the red lights. The firemen on the side of the road thought I was crazy but hey, you gotta grab the idea while it's hot. There's always firemen rescuing people on the sides of the roads here, it's Boston... As long as they don't make a law against writing and driving, I'm good.

Bonella: Care to share any skeletons hiding in your closet? No? Party pooper...okay, so how many authors are you editing and how many are in your hit list? No response? Geez!! Okay, okay...if you had a second chance in life (and let me say I love where I'm at and wouldn't go back wearing skin if you offered me Mr. Bones Dude) which famous author would you be and why? There, that's more human-like so answer.

Karen: Wow, that's a great question, Bones.

BONELLA: It's Bonella, Caruso.

KAREN: I have to think about that one. Can I be a conglomerate? I love Edgar Allen Poe for his horror, F. Scott Fitzgerald for his story (the Great Gatsby) but really I'd be C.S. Lewis because he had a wild imagination, lived in London and was one of the Inklings. If you don't know what the Inklings were, you can do a search on Wikitombia. That's the dead version of Wikipedia. It's at the records house on grounds at the graveyard.

Bonella: Do you wear perfume? What's your favorite brand?

Karen: Yes, I do. It's called Eau d'Auteure, of course! Author Water for the purists and Essence of an Author for the romantics among us. But I have been known to wear Parfum du Terre (dirt perfume) when I've been digging in the garden or hiking. I know you probably love that one. You could also make it yourself and have a nice little side business there by the crypt. :)

Bonella: I got plenty of side business but then again you live upstairs so no clue. Do skeletons make you nervous? You seem to be shaking your booty a bit there.

Karen: No, skeletons are ok, even if a bit hard to take...pun intended! I grew up in a lot of places but one of them was down the street from where H.P. Lovecraft lived in Providence, Rhode Island. Now HE made me nervous. Even in death. I'm posting a memoir story about him for the Masquerade Festival. OOOOhhhhh, I think you'll like it, Bonella. Say, have you thought of doing commercials for drug companies?

Bonella: Yeah, I can see it now--Drink the Bonella Fruit Punch and watch it spill outta your bones. What are you? Insane? If you were an ant, what kind of a story would you write? Hey, that's a serious question, answer it.

Karen: Hey, that came out of nowhere. Ant?! Ok, here goes... If I were an ant I'd have to write a squiggly story. You know, I'd tie a pencil to one of my legs and jazz all over the place in the dirt, and voila! A squiggly story. I bet skeletons can do that naturally.

Thank you for the interview, Bonella. There is a cool crypt in my backyard I think you'd like. I live one street over from a cemetery which is why I asked if you crypt hop. We tried to sell the house by saying the neighborhood was quiet but no one bought it. I like to point out that everyone comes to visit me eventually - my relatives don't understand my humor.

BONELLA: No one understands your humor? And you can't figure that out? Make sure the door doesn't hit you too hard on your way out before your boss lady thinks I did it on purpose. What!! Why you still standing here for? OUT!


Roseanne Dowell said...

Karen, I loved the way you handled that bodyless carcass. Thanks for sticking up for me. That pitiful stick doesn't know who she's messing with. I have a feeling we're going to go at it again. I'm ready for her.

Charlie said...

Bonella is ruthless but seemed Karen held her ground pretty good.

C.K. Volnek

Unknown said...

LOL I am loving Bonella and her interviews. Perhaps someday she'll let someone interview her? (or did I miss that post?)


Karen McGrath said...

Sheesh, Bonella really is dry, eh? LOL! She'd love my backyard. Tons of gravestones and crypts. It's quiet but creepy.

Hey, anytime Ro, we need to stick together against that, that, old clacking thing!

Anonymous said...

Bonella seemed a bit mellow with this interview. Is she losing her touch?

Karen McGrath said...

I know! But she made up for it in crazy questions. An ant?! Seriously?! LOL, she's too funny!

Lin said...

Fantasic job Karen with the arid one. She DOES seem to be losing her acidity. Guess her rest and bone mingling time know who, mellowed her out. Who'd have thought? Think she took my advice about the HYDROCORTISONE CREAM?