Sunday, October 3, 2010

Me vs Bonella

By now you've probably all read my interview  by Bonella. What a trip. I mean seriously. Bonella is something else. How Lea allowed this skeletol bag of bones to interview everyone is beyond me. Bonella is rude, nasty and downright mean. And darned if I'd take her crap. No way. She actually had the nerve to call me a Bad A$%. Even said my picture looked like a Bad A$% Momma. Ha! She ain't seen nothing yet. Worse than that, she picked on Lea. Leas was nice enough to let Bonella conduct these interviews and how does Bonella repay her? She picks on her. I mean seriously how rude can you get?She keeps it up and I'm gonna fix her bony butt but good.

I found a picture of her, yeah a full length picture. Not too bad, if I must say so myself. But still a skinny bag of bones. Wonder what she was like in real life. Bet she wasn't so skinny then. This one shows a bit more of her hat too.And check out that dress. Wonder what trash bag she found it in. But hey, it suits her, so what the heck. Far be it for me to pick on her choice of clothes. I guess you wear what you can find. It's not like there's a shopping mall for skeletons, is there? At least I wouldn't think there was. But never being a skeleton walking this earth, I really wouldn't know would I. So I asked Bonella if she'd agree to an interview with me. Here it is. I'd say I hope you enjoy but....well I think by now we all know Bonella.

So, Bonella, It's my turn to ask you some questions. HEHEHEH

BONELLA: Give it your best shot, Toots, I'm all bones...or like you 'alive' folks would say, I'm all ears.

You'd better watch who you're calling toots. How come you're so rude all the time? Didn't anyone ever teach you manners?

BONELLA: You're gonna make me seem to forget I live six feet under, walk around during October as a stretching period, and no sockets with eyeballs to allow weeping. Human emotions don't exist for the living night folks like me.

Don't tell me all the walking dead are mean and nasty as you. I don't believe it. You have a chip on your shoulder the size of a tree trunk.
So, You mentioned I looked like a bad A$% momma. I'm curious, just what specifically in that picture makes me look that way? And by the way, have you looked in a mirror lately? Sweetie, your looks leave a lot to be desired.

BONELLA:Those glasses. You're covering the evil squint that only folks like me can see. There's that glint of trouble emanating through those specs humans can't see, but I clearly see the red pupils, Miss Devil Horns...oops...did I let the cat outta the bag now? Geez, sorry, no really...NOT! And as a matter of fact the mirror loves me. How many have you broken?

Evil squints. You ain't seen nothing yet. You want to see evil squints, keep it up. Devil red eyes! The very idea! My eyes happen to be brown - very pretty brown matter of fact. Those are prescription transition glasses and it was sunny. And if you're not real careful, I'll turn those evil eyes on you and zap those skinny bones to a crisp
The mirror loves you. Yeah right. What kind of mirror are you looking into? It's probably already cracked.
Why are you so interested in us authors and our thought process or how we come up with ideas? Are you thinking of writing a story yourself? Are you, huh? Or are you thinking of stealing someone's story? I wouldn't put it past you, you skraggy skeleton.

BONELLA: First, thank you for the compliment. Skraggy is in as opposed to..

LEA: Bonella!

BONELLA: What the heck are you doing here? It's my interview, my time, my...

LEA: I have the eraser and delete button.

BONELLA: Well, the truth be known it's that whacky publisher of yours who resurrected me for a book she's writing. From all things, a children's book. Can you picture me in a children's book? All those snotty kids telling me the right way of doing things. I'd rather stay in the fiery pit than have those goodie goodie two shoes teaching me virtues. YUCK! YUCK! AND DOUBLE YUCK!

I can't picture you in any book. But if Lea thinks you're worth writing about, then so  be it. Gosh, I can't imagine why. I don't think anyone can teach you anything, least of all kids. Those poor things having to deal with you.

Don't you think you owe Lea an apology? I mean seriously, she was nice enough to allow you to conduct these interviews, and you have the nerve to pick on her. Picking on me is one thing, Heck, I'm used to it. People do it all the time. Besides I grew up with three brothers and two sisters, if you want to see picked on, Ha, you ain't seen nothing. But Lea, well, she ain't done nothing but helped people, you shouldn't be so nasty to her.

BONELLA: And this deserves an answer because? By the way, my heart bleeds for you... oh wait, I ain't got a heart. HEHEHEHE But going back to your publisher. She knew exactly what she was doing. Drumming up interest for readers and, baby, I'm DA BOMBSTERNATOR of hosting. So no apologies. I ain't putting on no facade for no one. And if you think I'm bad...oh boy oh boy oh boy...wait until later this month when my pals begin to hop on. The show's about to begin!!

All I can say is  thank goodness I don't have to deal with you or your pals.  But I'll be hanging around, watching you. You can count on that. And just remember my devil eyes, sister. You get too out of hand and I'll be turning them on you quicker than you can say evil spell.

Well, folks there you have it. This skinny bag of bones just doesn't quit. But what can you do? I tried. But there' just no being nice to this creature.  Geez! All I can say, is I'm glad my interview is over. I feel for the poor victims yet to come. Bonella is getting meaner and nastier with each interview and those friensds she's planning on brnging in. Well good luck to everyone.


Unknown said...

LOL...great interview Roseanne! I loved how you held your ground. I love how Lea keeps popping in at the right moment:)

Roseanne Dowell said...

Yeah, Lea does keep her in line, doesen't she. I can't wait to read the rest of the interviews.

Arlene said...

And I love that hat Bonella's wearing. Hm, will there be a submission down the road to Muse from a bag of bones? Better keep those red eyes glimmering sharp, Ro.

Roseanne Dowell said...

Oh these eyes are ever sharp. Thanks, Arlene. Bonella won't get anything by me. How did you like my witch picture? Looks just like me doesn't it? And aren't the eyes scary?

Arlene said...

Sorry. The witch picture is adorable. Easy for a bony fist to smash. Maybe thanks to no legs of your own, but yep, devil eyes due you justice.

Roseanne Dowell said...

Oh, there's legs, they just don't show in the pix. How else do you think I ride that broom. One swing of it and the skinny skeleton will be scattered all over.

Rosalie Skinner said...

October is going to be a riot. Much better reading these interviews than listening to the constant rain and flood warnings here.

MuseItUp Publishing said...

MUMMSY BITTER: Miss Dowell, your mouth stretches far and wide and I'd close it before a frog jumps inside.
BONELLA STICKS: Oh, nice one, Mummsy.
MUMMSY BITTER: Bonella, you've been too soft with these humans. Smarten up before I take over.
BONELLA STICKS: I-I-I will, promise. Um...can you not diss me in front of them, though? Kinda embarrassing.
FANGS BUD: Oh Mummsy, that's why I love you.
BONELLA STICKS: uttbay isserkay.

Roseanne Dowell said...

First of all, Mummsy, it's Mrs. Dowell and I'm not worried about frogs. Not nice to diss Bonella in front of us, poor dear might break into tears. Oh wait, she can't cry, she has no eyes. Besides she has no emotions. So Bonella, it's obvious Fangs is the favorite. How does it feel you skinny sack of calcium?

Lin said...

Okay...I have to chime in...shouldn't, but gonna anyway...Bonella, I didn't know they had spiders producing bone-silk now, and you're not supposed to steal the flowers from other people's graves to accessorize. That's just plain rude to all the eternal Boney-parts.

Ro, loved your interview...sometimes you gotta get just as dry and caustic with ancient fossils like Bonella.

I've been watching the History Channel's series THE UNIVERSE and they just did a whole hour show on Mars. Except for the polar caps, Mars is a red dust planet. Bonella is that where you're really from? I'm asking because, well, you DID choose red for the primary color of statement. A crumbly planet for a crumbly shrew?

Lea, I have an industrial sized super-fan if you just want to blow Bonella back to Mars and her REAL granular breeding pool.

Let me know.

Margaret Tanner said...

Hi Roseanne,
Good blog. I wouldn't let that old bag of bones boss me around either.

Anonymous said...

Fun interview. I have to say I like Bonella, lol. Sounds like it will only get more interesting when Bonella's friends start popping in. Can't wait.
: )

Charlie said...

Nice job Roseanne. Don't let that old bone pile rattle you! Funny.

Killarney said...

Wow Roseanne, Bonella has be quiet for a while now...Think we shut her up for good or is she plotting something truely evil?
Hehehe, bring it on sister!

Anonymous said...

This is great fun Roseanne. Love learning all things good and ugly about Bonella.
Kay Dee

Roseanne Dowell said...

Thanks, everyone. This was great fun. I'd love to do it again sometime. With Bonella or Scrooge or the Grinch that stole Christmas. LOL I know deep down Bonella does have a heart and I'm sure she'll turn out okay in the end.

Anonymous said...

Great repartee ~ Roseanne & Bonella, with rapier wit Roseanne did get Bonella to talk about the kids' book she will be featured in ~ and her picture, Bonella has a regal presence ~ I can envision her hosting a salon, the center of attention, in her flesh-ly days.

Roseanne brought that aura out in the interview ~ as well as Lea's whip ~ great job ^_^