Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Romance in the Morning?

 I was going through files, trying to sort out the mess that has become my computer, and I found my short humorous book published a few years back.  I called it a "toilet" book because the content is short enough for one sitting.  :) 

In the chapter where I talked about my honeymoon, I found this passage.  I have to share because I often wonder about  romance first thing in the morning.  All the soap stars don't seem to suffer from "morning" mouth...aren't we supposed to be realistic?

Here's a sample:

You know, since my first “virginal” night, I’ve read a lot of romance
books about steamy, passionate, fulfilling sex on wedding nights.
Yeah, today, it’s probably true. People practice with 100 partners or
more before they get married. By that time, they know what they’re
doing. But even back in my younger days, there were books like that.
Who wrote them? Do you really believe people wake up, first thing in
the morning, with pasty teeth and bad breath and roll over and say,
“let’s make love, sexy”? And, for those of you who think sweat is a
turn-on, I’d like to discuss your reasoning. I could never write a book
based on any personal romance experiences. I could maybe…fill out a
medium-size post-it note. I just think it’s a wonderful thing that we all
have such great imaginations. I’ve been around a lot but I still haven’t
seen the guy they keep describing in all those books… “He had a butt
to die for.” The only ones I’ve seen have had pimples on them, and I’m
not giving up my life for a zit.


Lea said...

You kill me. Zitty butt butt. Love it.

Viviane Brentanos said...

Oh God, I love this. So true but I think this is maybe why we write romance but reality sometimes...well, its just not romantic. Have I ever met a guy with a butt to die for? Yes I have, I must admit {Greek, naturally}.
And as for the first morning roll over. Don't know about you but I am just not up to it, especially when I so desperately need to pee.


Roseanne Dowell said...

Ah Ginger, real life is so boring isn't it? I didn't even want to look at hubby first thing in the morning. I was afraid my morning breath would scare him. I mean, seriously, anything that tasted that bad certainly couldn't smell good. As far as butts - I'm afraid I only saw one (hubby's) and I don't think I'd die for it. I agree with Viviane - first thing in the morning all I want to do is run to the potty.

Rosalie Skinner said...

ROFL Thanks Ginger. I needed a good laugh. With two sick grandchildren to worry about your post is a spot of light relief. Very welcome.

Anna Kathryn Lanier said...

Great post, as always! I've not done much morning sex in my life, but I agree with your insight. For me, it's the potty thing and the need for a drink of water, as I'm usually thirsty. And no, I have not personally seen (touched) a butt to die for.

Margaret Tanner said...

OMG Ginger, you have so hit the nail on the head. I haven't found a butt to die for either, yes and the potty and a drink of water sounds pretty good to me. I wake up in the morning and I am parched.



Anonymous said...

Oh My Gosh, Ginger, you're too funny! I'm chuckling through your whole little story. But the image you've used - WOW! That in itself "shows" a thousand words. I can't help but love your writing...you make me smile...and laugh!
Kay Dee

Barbara Ehrentreu said...

LOL Ginger!
I have to disagree, though. When I was younger and with my husband both before and after marriage he would love to do it in the mornings and it was sexy.:) Have any of you had it in the middle of the night? It's like a dream - did you or didn't you?? But funny picture and hysterical comments.