as in Time Line jargon, she's my
Grandmother, but Nonnie was then and always will be so much more.
My birth mom, Nonnie's daughter, liked her
Four Roses Whiskey and liked it long before I was born...which means I was born with
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, even though we didn't know to call it that. What I was told by my legal parents, is I'm the
spawn of the Devil...and that hurt this confused child who could not understand what I had done to carry such a
But not from Nonnie...despite the scar across my right butt cheek that branded me, Nonnie
loved me, unconditionally. She enjoyed the confused little girl. Every night, after the two of us put the
kitchen to right, we would plunk ourselves down at the huge farm-sized
table and play
solitaire. The teasing was sweetly caustic. I never felt the sting from Nonnie's words because they were so liberally
with love and warmth.
The day Nonnie let me move from the over sized bedroom I shared with two of my three brothers, into hers, was the day I knew God lived inside my Nonnie, and she was actually my
guardian angel in the flesh.
Nonnie adored African violets. You see
the bay window upstairs? This is the room I shared with my Nonnie. That entire bay held her precious
African violets. I felt so big and
important when Nonnie stood off to the side and allowed me to tend her precious plants.
I was only eleven when Nonnie left me, driving me
to my knees with agony no amount of physical beatings could duplicate.
I'm almost sixty now and not a day goes by that I don't ache for missing her.
I only have the one picture...my dad destroyed all the family photos without giving us a chance to retrieve any first. But luckily, the only one I DO have is of Nonnie holding the chubby, (I was 9 lbs 2 oz at birth), baby that adored her then, adores her still, and always will.
Had Nonnie not given me those
eleven years to build from, I despair for the me I would have grown into.
I chose to claim this day for my May Muse Theme because today is Nonnie's birthday.
I love you Nonnie. Thank you for showing this imperfect child that she was worthy of your unconditional love. I hope the me I've become makes you proud.
Love Always and Beyond,
Your "Little One."