Friday, October 21, 2011

Bonella Meets Up with Kristin Battestella

    BONELLA: Oh my, oh my, oh my…hello Miss Viking Vampire. Excuse my bony appearance but the gowns were in the wash…NOT. I have to say, being my usual self with you is hard. Vampires are my friends so for a change I’ll play nice.
    So what draws you to my vampy palsl?

    KRISTIN: I like the darkness, the brood, the mirror of underbelly evolution and damnation!  Nice to know where we're going and from whence we came, woohaaa.

    BONELLA: You sound like a very WICKED woman…I LIKE…I LIKE.
You probably didn’t notice me in your conference workshop that night but I was overpowered and hidden by all the human skin climbing on top of each other to get closer to you. What fascinated me was the fact you talk so much of dark fiction and scaring the crap out of everyone. So where’s your crypt located?

    KRISTIN: Actually I didn't notice your uncharacteristically quiet self.  What gives? I have an attraction to the twisted that people like, who knew?  My crypt is located in a 'hood with lots of screaming little kids that I would just love to blast with the Scary Sounds Halloween playlist. But that is probably disturbing the (rest in) peace and is corrupting or contributing delinquency or something.  Damn NJ rules!

    BONELLA: Do you have some dark desire to be immortalized and bitten by a hunky vamp?

    KRISTIN: Not really.  Shocker I know.  I much rather enjoy being good by day and bad by night.  More fun when it is salacious and juicy. When its out and the open it just isn't as fun.  People look at me funny in the grocery store, ask if I need help if I've got my 'I heart vampires' shirt on.  They just can't admit it.

    BONELLA: Then BITE THEM…get it out of your system. I do!
This professor of yours in Fate and Fangs, why isn’t he bit?

    KRISTIN: Well he starts out as chubby and stuffy and not that interesting to them, but then he starts writing these books that people think are fiction.  He made a lot of money and got plastic surgery.  Now he is getting persuasions of a different kind from a slutty vamp named Pamela. You would see her 1950s incarnation in Fate and Fangs Book 5 Lust, but she spends most of the story on her back behind closed doors.

    BONELLA: So do you have like stakes and miniature coffins decorating your writing table?

    KRISTIN: No, too distracting.  On my bench where I sit while using my exercise ball is a black quill pen and a pointer that is a little hand on a stick.  I use that to whack people away from me while I work.  Since it is Halloween, I do have a sign on my office door that says 'Vampire on Duty' and one above my kitchen saying 'Bat Motel'.  I do however have a picture file of all the decorations I do like, and that does include mini candy coffins and cupcake stakes with bats on them.  Can't hurt to be prepared.

    BONELLA: Why the hell did you sign up for MuseItUp Publishing? I mean, come on…from the regular wave of humanoids in that house you seem nice and down with dark, compared to the flower children there.

    KRISTIN: I signed with Muse because they were the only publisher able to handle that which is Fate and Fangs.  I think there are a few other twisted folks at the Muse, but all  the better for us pale glow in the dark folks to stand out amid the flowery people before we eat them!

    BONELLA: Guess along with dark books you’re into dark movies?

    KRISTIN: And television. And men.  Don't forget men.  Real men. Old School men who can handle a biznatch. None of those whipper snappers who just stand there and look pretty.

    BONELLA: K, cutting this short. Feels weird being nice to a human. So do me a favor and GET LOST!  

KRISTIN: But whoever said I was human? I'm martian and proud!

BONELLA: just lost my 'niceness' I know why you went with Lea and her Muse asylum...YOU'RE FREAKING CRAZY... a martian...GET A LIFE WOMAN!


Roseanne Dowell said...

Wow, there's side to the bony one we've never seen before.

Roseanne Dowell said...

Wow, there's side to the bony one we've never seen before.

gail roughton branan said...

Yeah, but what nobody seems to realize is that the flower people can turn into Venus Fly Drops on demand. Stop and smell the roses. If you dare.

Unknown said...

LOL. Thoroughly enjoyed this. It was like watching a pleasant *snicker* exchange between Simon Cowell and Hugh Laurie from House. I even experienced a yuk moment where I thought you two might kiss.

Great Job Simon, uh, I mean Kristin. Thanks for the entertainment. So glad I made time to stop by. This was worth it.

Sara Durham Writer ~ Author said...

Very entertaining! And Kristin who knew you could actually get on Bonella's 'good' side:)


Kristin Battestella said...

ME good? Never!

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