Saturday, January 11, 2014

Global Resolve vs. The Ballbusters
By Scott R. Caseley

            It’s kind of ironic that without fail and for several years now, to ring in a New Year, people all over get beside themselves with glee to watch a ball drop, isn’t it? Then as soon as the ball has completed its illustrious journey, they start making proclamations of how things are going to change. The next year will be the one that counts. They’ll quit smoking, go the gym more, hug a panda, ride a unicycle while juggling, something, anything that they didn’t accomplish the previous 365 days or earlier. There is unrelenting optimism about this, despite that aforementioned dropped ball.
            In all of our families or circles of friends, we have people who will set these goals and never see them through. Some, you’d know right away would break them within a few months, while rare ones will see them all the way through. The majority of them, however, it is clear have no real intention of honoring said promise from Day One. Seeing those you love fail really does break your heart, I don’t care who you are, it’s going to leave a permanent scar. And, who is going to help with that pain? That is where we at Global Resolve come in. Our sole aim at Global Resolve is to make these Ball Busters actually follow through.
            Just let us know who the offender is, and what New Year’s Resolution they have violated. For example, if they have habitually pledged to exercise more, we’ll use a portion of your negotiated fee to pay off local gyms to get your people to keep coming in. If they are a smoker, we’ll make deals with their favorite convenience stores not to sell to them. You just name the offense; we’ll name the solution depending on our secret plans configured by our team of experts following a formula of individual and frequency of pattern.
            We have a three-strike system. For the first strike, we give them a verbal warning, the second, a written one. However, on the last, we will humiliate them. They will have to wear a T-shirt that reads, “I Break New Year’s Resolutions” while cleaning up at Times Square. Not only that, but we have a partnership with various hosts of the New Year’s festivities to ask the offenders what resolution they broke, and why on national television. We think that public shame for not following through on a promise is a hefty price to pay. However, we are an evolving company with room to change as we grow. If you have any better ideas of how we can make people stick to what they say, please let us know.  
            Don’t let your friends and family drop the ball. Let Global Resolve break the Ballbusters’ trend! We are affordable, reliable, and your one stop to make sure your loved ones, go, go, go for their goals!  Don’t wait until the countdown begins for next year, call or find us on the web today! It’s our New Year’s Resolution to help you have a Happy New Year!

No comments: