Saturday, February 15, 2014

Sunday Musings: February 16 2014


We're going to go into a different direction, one that might be a little difficult...when the love affair is over.

We celebrate engagements and marriages. We go crazy asking questions about new boyfriends. I've heard guys will bug/tease their buddies about a new girlfriend.

But what about when things end? I've heard of divorce parties. There's even websites where you can go and declare someone a lousy girl/boyfriend. Even send them either headless rose stems or black roses.

What about those mutual, friendly breakups...couples living together in the same house raising their kids even while dating or being in a new relationship.

Friends with benefits...better friends and part-time lovers, than full-time couple.

Care to muse/share your past endings or the stories you've heard about...with names changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent?

Go ahead and even give us a fictional idea you have and haven't had the home to place it until now.

I spent way too many years in an unhealthy marriage. (If you read last week's musing, you'll know what I mean.) The relationship had been broken for years, but I was too scared of failure to contemplate a divorce. Eventually, I reached my breaking point, and found the courage to stand on my own. A year of transition followed, at the end of which I was newly divorced. A failed marriage was nothing to celebrate, but my newfound self-confidence most certainly was. So I threw a Divorce Party. Friends and family, tapas and wine, made for a lovely evening to ring in the next chapter of my life.

Or how about those long distance relationships. Maybe I'm a little off with this piece but My sister and her husband lived apart, 700 miles apart, for three years. They did talk on the phone every day, and once a month or so either she'd go to see him for a couple days or he'd come see her for a couple days.

He still goes down there to work for the summers and they keep their relationship alive and healthy. I think that's pretty amazing.

Dawn Knox author of the upcoming: DAFFODIL AND THE THIN PLACE

Despite damning figures relating to divorce and relationship breakdown, I've always had an unjustifiable optimism that most marriages work – until last week. I met a friend I haven’t seen for many years and was saddened to hear her daughter’s marriage had failed. The end of a relationship is always very distressing, so I’m not sure why news of this divorce saddened me more deeply than usual and for the first time, I began to wonder whether expectations of ‘’til death do us part…’ ought to be replaced by the more realistic ‘for as long as it may last.’

And if that’s so, is there any point trying at all? 

As a writer, I often ask myself ‘What if…?’ and I tried to imagine a world where no one attempted to form a relationship, where there were no marriages and therefore no divorces. It was a hard thing to do – not because my imagination failed me but because it was so depressing. 

And that’s probably a good thing. An innate belief that love is worth pursuing is a crucial aspect of human nature.

A world where men and women don’t try to form relationships would be a barren place indeed. 

So, despite the disheartening odds, people still want to believe they can make a go of it. 

Marriages will fail but perhaps that’s better that than not trying at all. 

How often do we read ‘The End’ when we finish a novel? How often do novels have unhappy endings? One which does is Gone With The Wind.

* * * *
“She (Scarlet) threw out her hands to him (Rhett), palms up in the age-old gesture of appeal, and her heart again, was in her face.
‘No,’ she cried. ‘All I know is that you do not love me and you are going away! Oh my darling, if you go, what shall I do?’
For a moment he hesitated as though debating whether a kind lie were kinder in the long run than the truth. Then he shrugged…..”I wish I could care what you do or where you go, but I can’t.”
He drew a short breath and said lightly but softly:
“My dear, I don’t give a damn.”

* * * *

The novel concludes:-
“With the spirit of her people who would not know defeat, even when it stared them in the face, she (Scarlet) raised her chin. She could get Rhett back. She knew she could. There had never been a man she couldn’t get, once she set her mind upon him.
“I’ll think of it all tomorrow, at Tara. I can stand it then. Tomorrow, I’ll think of some way to get him back. After all, tomorrow is another day.”

* * * *

Scarlet threw away her chance of a happy ending because she did not appreciate the husband who loved her.
I would never advocate anyone remaining in an abusive marriage. However, with the rising divorce rate and the number of children who have a step-parent, I wonder whether expectations of marriage are too high. Could failed marriages have happy endings instead of ending up in the divorce court? After all, there is more to life than ‘moonlight and roses.’

Kenneth Hicks and Anne Rothman-Hicks, Coming Soon: THINGS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM

This is a break-up scene from our novel Kate and the Kid,

            "How could you be so immature?" he asked.  His brown hair fell in an even line over his brow.  His fingers were splayed over his knees.  "Really, Kate.  Maybe it’s time for us both to be alone for a while and think seriously about our situation.  I mean, where are we headed?"
            Kate was not one to grovel, even when she was wrong – and certainly not to someone who was destined to be as rich as Sandy Hiroth.  At 83rd and Park, the cab stopped for a light and she hopped out.
            "Please get back in the car, Kate," Roger said.
            "Just doing as you suggested, Roger.  And you know what?  I feel like I'm thinking better already.  Much more seriously.  I mean, look at me; I’m not smiling at all.  Plus, I know exactly where I am headed.  I’m headed home."
            "Please, Kate.  You are in no condition to walk."
            Even the cabdriver could recognize the concern in Roger’s voice, but his words were like a red flag in front of a bull.
            "Oh, really?"  She sat down on the curb, yanked off her high heels and waved them in Roger's direction as though to say that a person who was too drunk to walk would not have thought to do anything that practical. 
            “Kate, either get back in the car, or that’s it.  We’re done.”
            “Stick a fork in it then, Roger.”

As always, thanks for stopping by and musing. We love our Muse Family and Friends.

If you have a question or comment you’d like us to muse upon, do not hesitate to contact me Christine Steeves-Speakman  at

1 comment:

Paul McDermott said...

"Truth can be stranger than Fiction"
How true this is! Just as in Casablanca, " ... of all the gin joints in all the world ..." I just HAD to walk into that one, and there SHE was. Three countries and twenty=five years later, she decided she was "homesick" and walked out.
Five years on: if she ever knocks on my door in the middle of the night, the only thing I could ever say would be: "Welcome Home"